What Does True Love Mean to You? While it can mean many things to many people, we believe this feature expresses the basics of true love and we hope you’ll enjoy it. Please feel free to share it, leave comments, etc.
Alison & Tony aka. “Leather and Lace”
A couple of years ago, leatherandlaceadvice.com received a letter asking us: “How do I know if the love I have is a true love?” We both answered the question, and believe me, it wasn’t easy. But we think it bears repeating; this time not as a question, but as Valentines Day approaches, more as a blog post, an article, a letter to all our loyal readers…call it whatever you like. We hope it will give you some food for thought, and maybe some inspiration, and hopefully get you to share your thoughts.
What is true love? Tony says that love is ultimately caring for and caring about another person. Love is ultimately the desire to be with and around that person. He asserts that we have absolutely no logical control over those we fall in love with. We know we are in love with them because they make us feel special and being around them makes us feel happy. But for a relationship to work instead of the sad feeling of unrequited love, that feeling must be mutual. As Tony describes it, love goes through phases. In the beginning it can be all consuming, you are in love” with this person and your day and life revolve around their very existence. This is the most passionate period of your relationship and it is when you really become bonded with the other person. However, like all bright flames, it can only burn hot for a period of time before cooling. This is not to say you are less in love with a person, but rather that you have grown comfortable with them and secure in your relationship and love with them. This person may still be your one, true love, but now it’s at a tender, intense and fulfilling level.
What does true love mean to me? Well, pretty much the same thing, but I’ll take it a step further. I don’t think it’s a cliche to say that two people who truly love one another are are two parts of a whole. They are in sync with one another, and you can see it in the way the look at each other and in their body language. They simply radiate it. They are individuals, but they are stronger, happier, healthier people as a couple, than as solo units. To be genuinely and deeply love in love can be such a powerful, overwhelming discovery, it can literally take your breath away. But it isn’t lust we’re talking about. True love gives you joy and a peaceful feeling that is always with you, even if that person isn’t with you. You know that there is someone who you love who loves you back just as much, and the world feels like a better place because you have been blessed with this special connection. To me, a true love is a selfless one. In other words. You are that person’s cheerleader. You hope for their success, well being and happiness as much or more than your own. Would you voluntarily, gladly make a sacrifice for that person because it is important to them, even if there was nothing at all in it for you? That’s true love.
Love is a sort of involuntary submission — one that you may find yourself easily and gladly submitting to even if you know that it makes no logical sense. And if it’s true love, those intense feelings remain even when the object of your affection has irritated or disappointed you (no one is perfect) because you love all of that person for who they are, imperfections, included. Your feelings remain constant. True love isn’t all that common, but if you find it, you’re extremely lucky. If you feel the way we are describing above about someone, congratulations! Your Valentines Day and every day, will be filled with joy.
WHAT DOES TRUE LOVE MEAN TO YOU? DO YOU AGREE WITH OUR DESCRIPTION? PLEASE KEEP THE DIALOGUE GOING, OR TWEET US @LEATHERLACEADV Sharing your thoughts with others is not just helpful to one person, it could be something that makes everyone feel better. In fact, your opinion could be a life-saver for someone else reading this column who has the same or similar issues. We really feel bad when our columns don’t get any response to a feature or Q&A –then we wonder if it was interesting or helpful or it was just not striking a chord? Please support us and give some feedback! We thank you (Alison & Tony)