My boyfriend and I were watching some internet porn last night and there was a scene with two girls doing something that looked horrifyingly painful. I couldn’t even watch it! Imagine my horror when my boyfriend said it looked amazing and we should try it sometime. I laughed it off, but then he told me it’s called “fisting” and it would be fun. I am pretty sure there is NO WAY I’m ever going to do this with him or anyone else. I’m really freaked out. There is NO WAY I want to do this. Is fisting real, and is it a normal thing???
Alison’s View : Yes, fisting is a real sex act, and real people apparently do take pleasure in it. It’s not mainstream, but “perversion” is what you think of it, and who are we to judge? In fact, we have written an entire feature on it for our sister site, Leather and Lace SPICE (you have to be of legal age to read it). However, this is not a sexual pleasure for everyone, and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can cause real harm to your partner, More than that, I strongly believe that any act that isn’t consensual is not something you should be required, asked or agree to do. Just because you see something in a pron video doesn’t mean it’s something you can easily re-create with your partner at home.
When it comes to alternative sexual activities, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be curious, but if you are going to try something very different that neither you nor your partner have tried before, be safe and reasonable about it. Learn all you an about it first and be prepared to do is safely. If either of you is feeling a bit queasy about it, maybe it’s not the right time or the right thing to do. And if anything feels “wrong,” stop immediately. Trust and respect your partner. And keep in mind that what you see in a porn video is often staged. That’s why it’s fantasy. Sometimes, watching it is better than doing it. Maybe not always, but sometimes….
That’s up to you and your partner to decide.
Tony’s Take: Remember that pornography is fantasy. What is shown in these videos is what photographs well, but it isn’t what people actually necessarily do, or what feels good. Each porn video is designed to appeal to one or more particular tastes or fetishes. This is how they win acceptance and viewership. Because of this, almost every act in a themed porn film is an exaggeration of reality. We must also recognize that the participants are paid proportional to the number and extreme nature of the acts which they portray. For example, one gets an absurd notion about the frequency of anal sex in the videos, because women willing to engage in anal sex on camera are paid more and thus it occurs far more often than it does in real life.
A good partner will help his mate stretch her limits, but he should never coerce, cajole or intimidate her into doing things that make her uncomfortable. In interviews with young women who do fisting in videos, they state that when they are properly prepared it does not hurt and does bring them pleasure, but we must remember they have stretched out their muscles to make fisting possible, and have used large amounts of lubricant. For the average woman simply fingering her vagina will produce the same or similar results without the potential for pain and possible damage from trying to stretch out the muscles too quickly.
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