Addicted to Love? Unique ways to tell those you love (and those you don’t) how you really feel (a new version of an Advicesisters.com classic by Alison Blackman)
Are you in a relationship right now? Then there’s trouble ahead! If there’s any day in the calendar when you’re likely to feel judged, it’s Valentines Day. Yes, this one day brings up more issues for men and women than just about any other. If you’re single, all those “hearts & flowers” remind you that you haven’t found someone special, or if you like being single, at the very least it can make you feel that you are not an “insider.” If you are in a relationship, Valentines Day brings up all sorts of issues, depending upon where you are in that relationship, and whether or not it’s a lasting one.
To get you through the minefield of emotions that make up February 14th, here’s my take on it: Valentines’ day is not just for lovers. It’s just a perfect opportunity to tell the special people in your life how much they mean to you. It also gives you an opportunity to tell some “special people” how much they don’t mean to you. In other words, the ones you want to purge from your heart!
Love and hate…maybe it’s a fine line. Here are some more unique ways to tell those you love (and those you don’t) I like you, I love you, or….I loathe you:
FOR (non-romantic) SPECIAL PEOPLE:
Fragrance, spa or beauty products (red anything” only) because red always makes your pulse, race check the Advicesisters.com Beauty Archives
Wine & Spirits — to toast love, or drink away sorrows, (there are plenty in the advicesisters.com Food/Travel/Culture archives )
A gallon of your friends’ favorite ice cream tied with ribbons and two spoons (you’re bringing it over, right)?
A phone call -not a text, or an email (because it has been way too long since you’ve said “hello” and technology isn’t the same as hearing your voice)
Give a gift of private and personal advice
a love letter (we just don’t do enough communicating in actual sentences anymore)
a massage candle with a book of certificates for personal massages (give by you, of course)
a lunch or dinner where everything is heart-shaped and made by you (no delivery and no cheating!)
a “movie night” where the movies are all his or her favorites (even if his is Terminator 2, or hers is The Notebook)
Seeds or plants for your garden that you’ll watch grow, together (and Spring will be here eventually)
a gift certificate to a gourmet bakery that specializes in erotic sweets
If you are in a cold climate, bundle up and bring a thermos of hot chocolate and snuggle while watching the sunset. If you are in a warm climate, bring a blanket and a bottle of wine and head for the beach (and snuggle while watching the sunset).
Buy some sexy gifts. If you aren’t sure what appropriate, check out the advice sisters spicy holidy gift guide that has some really great suggestions, and watch the Dr. Joy Show on VIMEO about dating and relationships (and intimate gifts)
Rose petals, everywhere!
Self-improvement books or videos
Drugstore candy (better if it is from last year–as in, “expired”)
A card with a romantic note inside sent to him or her, with someone else’s name on it
Those wedding invitations you never used because the wedding was called off (sent C.O.D.) to his or her address (including the personalized cake knife is a nice touch, too)
a gift certificate for some online relationship counseling with a note explaining that without it, s/he will be single a long, long, time
a separation agreement or signed divorce papers!
NO WORRIES IF NO ONE’S SENDING YOU HEARTS, FLOWERS & CHOCOLATES — 9 GREAT IDEAS FOR VALENTINES’ DAY! If you’re as sick of the Valentine’s Day hype as some people get about Christmas (“If I have to hear “Silver Bells” or “The Little Drummer Boy” one more time I’ll scream!“) here are some suggestions to keep yourself amused and away from the seemingly endless couples holding hands. Keep in mind what The Advice Sisters always say about holidays: They are just ONE DAY and then they’re over! (you’ll survive it).
go to a comedy club, because laughing is the best remedy in the world for what ails you
Go shopping, because February is still sales season, and it won’t be so crowded on February 14th in the evening. They may be snagging dinner with someone but you’ll be snagging tons of bargains!
Babysit for a couple – hit Chuckie Cheese’s or another pizza/game arcade. Bring as many dollars in quarters as you can carry. Order a pizza and play video and arcade games –you will have a blast and you’ll be truly adored by those kids (at least for the evening)!
Get some actual advice on how to find someone for next Valentines Day
50 Shades of Grey is out on February 14th, but if you don’t want to wait in line, go to any movie, buy the BIG popcorn and enjoy any movie that will captivate you
Irish GUYS are smiling – Yes! The luck of the Irish is with you when you go to any Irish bar which with live music to lift your spirits and you are bound to have a fun, memorable evening
Party like it isn’t Valentines Day – just gather your unattached friends or go out in a group (and watch the couples who really are not having a good time together…there are a lot of fights on V-day when expectations are not met).
Did you ever do something just to get back at someone who hurt you? How did it work out for you? Sharing your experiences with others is not just helpful to them, it could be a life-saver for someone else reading this column who has the same or similar issues. We really feel bad when our columns don’t get any response –then we wonder if it was interesting or helpful? Please support us and give some feedback! We thank you (Alison & Tony)