Does my Boyfriend have Real Relationship Issues, Or Is He just a Selfish Jerk?

 

Tony’s Take:  Barbie, the key to analyzing this relationship is the fact that your boyfriend treats his daughter and more importantly his mother better than he treats you.

This directly implies that you are nothing more than a “utility.”

You’re someone to help with the cost of the house to do chores, to pay money to take him out, while not giving back anything of his own to you.

One lives for the sake of their children, and you are setting a bad example for your daughter.

This puts her in a bad situation because this man in her life is not a father figure and not any type of emotional or physical support for you, her mother

Additionally, what you’re putting yourself through is yet another form of abuse which directly reflects as anxiety and weight increase.

You are making excuses for yourself saying you are hard to live with because you “lose it” but this is a harsh judgment of yourself .

It keeps you from looking for and finding other more positive relationships.

The biggest indicator that there is trouble in the relationship is the simple lack of affection –of holding and being held, of kissing, and tenderness toward the other person.

You are simply playing house, you don’t have a romantic, intimate relationship.

Another bad indication about the relationship is that he’s being coy about his income and how he spends it.

It’s all bad news.

Alison’s Take:  

Barbie, Tony has been blunt. He’s been harsh.

But I can’t disagree with anything he’s said.

No matter what you think your issues are, or what they really are, no one deserves to be treated with disrespect or disinterest.

Women who feel that they are “unworthy” of love, often accept an abusive partner.

They’ll make excuses because they are afraid if they leave they won’t find anyone else who will accept them.

However, what you wrote had me literally scratching my head in disbelief.

For the record, no one gives plastic cups and trash bags to his girlfriend for a gift.  That is beyond obnoxious.

Right now you might be satisfied putting up with this jerk although he’s taking full advantage of you, helping out with the house.

When he finds a “home” he likes better, you are going to be out of both a relationship and a “roommate.”

I urge you to carefully re-read your own letter (which we have heavily edited for privacy’s sake).

Your letter was a novel about this man and that book doesn’t have a happy ending, I’m afraid.

Start writing a new chapter in a new book.

DO IT NOW!