I’m a 2o-year-old woman who is into bondage and into risky sex. Since I’m single I go to a lot of clubs with my besties looking for action. A few months ago I got a bit drunker than usual and ended up accepting a ride home from some guys I didn’t know. They were all over me the minute I got in the back seat and all of them had sex with me. I can’t lie, I really enjoyed it. They did whatever they wanted and I had no control, I found it really exciting. I want this experience again and have managed it on several occasions. I know it’s risky but I am so excited by this. The only thing that really worries me is what to do if things get out of control. My friends think I should get a sex buddy since what I like is so risky. I like this kind of risky group sex and I know my friends are right, it is dangerous. Is there a way to have this kind of risky sex in a safe way? (call me Amalie)
“Is there a safe way to have risky sex?” If you love risky sex, there’s nothing safe about it. The lack of control and the randomness of the action is probably what turns you on.
First off, accepting a ride from people you don’t know when you are already inebriated and they probably are as well, is risky in itself. Both the ride and the anonymous group sex can get you seriously hurt physically or end your life.
Any man or men who have risky group sex with a woman they’ve just met in a club have no emotional ties or feelings of responsibility, let alone respect, for you.
Aside from physical abuse, you might become pregnant or get STDs. I am assuming that they’re not using protection.
There are other consequences besides physical and emotional abuse. We live in a very public work. One or more of these men might photograph you and use it for blackmail or at the very least people you know might recognize you.
The more risky group sex you engage in, the more this will impact your choices later for employment and certainly when you’re ready to make a commitment to one person.
A sex buddy is only an option if this person is strong and intimidating enough to stop the action. If this person gets in the car with you I suspect your risky sex scenario will end right there.
You ask how you can handle things if they get out of control. One way is to join a bondage or group sex clubs where the members are consenting adults but there are at least some controls on who attends.
They have security in case things do get out of hand who can take charge and break things up safely. If you really want this kind of sex, it’s a way to minimize your risk.
To be clear up front Alison and I do not condone the way you are handling your lifestyle. It could get you seriously hurt. It could leave you with incurable diseases, Ultimately, it will debase you mentally.
However, we do understand your interests and offer the following:
If you are near any large City in the world there is either a swingers club or a fetish/lifestyle club which is a much better-controlled situation because the members are pre-screened and there is security in case things get out of hand.
If you are being honest about what you enjoy, then a profitable career in adult movies awaits you in the Los Angeles area where your partners will be pre-screened and medically checked ensuring your safety and where everyone will have a lot of fun.
With this kind of risky behavior, it would be a good idea to have a partner to go with you as a duo, preferably a guy, or at least a woman who looks like she could handle herself to act as your safety net.
I would urge you to take “prep” (an aids medication that blocks the contraction of aids for 24 hours) before engaging in unprotected sex with anyone.