Dear Leather and Lace: My husband and I are both in our 30’s and have been married for a couple of years. Sex with him has never been very good. Basically it’s all about his pleasure. Five minutes, and he’s done. He never considers my needs at all. I’ve tried everything to get him interested in making our sexual relationship more fulfilling for both of us, but he’s just not interested. The one thing he did want was to fulfill his fantasy of watching me have sex with another man. At first, I refused, but eventually I gave in, hoping this would re-kindle his interest in me. Anyway, he invited a male friend of ours over and we did have sex and it was wonderful. This man was powerful, exciting, caring and “large” (which I really liked). I had my first orgasm with a man in two years! It was incredible! Now, my husband is upset with me because I had a good time. In fact, he called me a “slut.” Am I wrong to have enjoyed myself? After all, it was my husband who wanted me to do this in the first place. I really want to have sex with this other guy again since my husband still doesn’t seem to realize that I have needs and wishes, too. I’m torn…..what should I do?
Signed, Torn
Alison’s Take: “Torn,” there is an old saying: “think twice about what you wish for, because you might get it” This seems to be relevant to your husband’s fantasy. He wanted to watch you have sex with someone else, and I’m guessing he wanted you to hate the experience, not love it. Somehow, the idea that you might enjoy it didn’t occur to him? Well, he played with fire and he got burned.
If the other parts of your relationship with your husband are good, or at least, fairly decent, you need to try and work things out with your husband. If he refuses to go to couples counselling (something I believe you really should do) and he doesn’t understand or care about what make you feel so great sexually with the other guy, he isn’t invested in your happiness or in the relationship. If that’s the case, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate whether or not you want to stay in the marriage. This is something you really need to think about.
As to your desire to have sex with the other man, I can understand why you’d be enthusiastic. Who doesn’t want great sex?! But keep in mind that part of what made the sex so good, is that there were no strings or issues attached to this man as there are with your husband. And consider too that while your first experience with this man was great, it might not be as fantastic on a regular basis — especially if you don’t really have much else in common besides an urgency to lock loins. Great sex is more than just physical technique, it has to do with the joy of feeling loved, needed, cherished, and desired.
In the best scenario, your sexual escapade will be a wake-up call for your husband, and he will finally realize that he needs to do more and better for you. You will both work on that, together. But assuming that your relationship is really on the skids, life is too short to feel unloved and unappreciated. Only you can decide what actions your can realistically take, to be happy. I won’t tell you it’s wrong to have enjoyed yourself or to try and find happiness other ways. But if you decide to pursue this other man, be very sure you know what you’re doing before you jump into bed again . Be prepared for risks and consequences.
Tony’s Take: Any person who does not consider the needs of another and uses the other person only for their own pleasure is selfish and contemptuous. His treatment of you is humiliating and degrading and it is punishment of you for the crime of marrying him because that makes you his responsibility which he hates.
The fantasy of having another man making love to your wife can take one of two forms, a selfless one where the woman’s pleasure is important to the husband and a more sinister form which is a rape fantasy, the husband imagines his wife being humiliated and degraded by the virtual rape of giving her to another man. When you enjoyed yourself, since he condoned the action, it was he who humiliated, embarrassed and cuckolded himself, which he now blames on you.
This husband is a type of mental abuser, he likes punishing you, his wife, for every slight he has ever experienced, especially imagined slights from women. Without a lot of therapy there is no hope for him, and even the course of therapy is often destructive to the marriage. You are young and can find a much better mate than this loser.
You need to feel loved and satisfied so if this friend who you had sex with is single, trustworthy and willing you might consider seeing him on the side while you plan your exit from your marriage, but I counsel you to have all of your ducks in a row before you file for divorce because your husband is a nasty piece of work , and he is going to make your life miserable. If he hits you or event threatens to hit you you need to go to the police and get an order of protection, better to be cautious than be a victim of a serious beating or worse.
Wow. I can’t imagine partaking in a fantasy of my HUSBANDS like that. Nor can I imagine marrying someone who has no concern for my sexual contentment. You aren’t just talking about someone you are dating, this is the person you have agreed to spend the rest of your life with (and bad sex is an issue specifically for reasons like these)! I absolutely wouldn’t jump ship because of a single experience had with the friend. Like Alison said, part of this friend being so attractive at the moment is because things are not ideal with the husband, but for certain, because he is human, this friend comes with his own issues. This whole experience sounds like more than anything it should be an eye opener on many different levels of that marriage/relationship: how she truly feels about her husband (he seems awfully self absorbed and selfish), how she genuinely feels about their marriage, is she happy with what she is doing in life (because it also sounds like being with someone ELSE, not even just the friend, is or has been on her mind).
thanks for your comment. It just points out that couples have different ways of relating to each other, but this couple, IMHO, needs to reevaulate and renegotiate their relationshp (“Lace”). Keep reading. And feel free to ask us anything!
Wife and I always had a great sex life. Been together over 20 years. I respect her and love her unconditionally. Over the last 5 years my ability to perform has diminished greatly from my health. She is ok with it, however, she is still very sexually charged at age 52. We talked extensively about her having another man so she could still enjoy a healthy sex life. After considerable thought and rule making we tried it. We found one man that we wanted and agreed only one man not many. Her first time was very gratifying and the second not so much. Of course he will have to learn how her.body works over time. Wife said she won’t continue if he isn’t able to lean quickly lol. Bottom line anything done out of concern for another can be, as in our case, a pure act of love. Just remember that one size doesn’t fit all. The man or woman who does this for the wrong reason will fail.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. While we don’t judge or advocate any intimate relationships on leatherandlaceadvice.com it is clear that in your case, this arrangement is working to the satisfaction of both of you. We are glad that you are able to enjoy your relationship as you have agreed.
My wife and I have been together for five years . My wife has commented she would love to have a threesome with me and another man, but I can’t have one with another woman. She’s even asked we have a threesome with another man I fear it because I have on a good day 4 inches erect and I just don’t please my wife she enjoys the foreplay but I don’t please her sexually she fakes the orgasms. I know this cause I use her 9” dildo on her and she has the most extreme orgasms but I could never do it because of my penis that shit hurts and makes me sick to my stomach cause that all I want to do is be the man that can do it all but I can’t. So I thought about this but I know if it ever happened our marriage would be over.
Have you looked into penis extensions? Stap ons are not just for girls. There are others for men that work so you both get pleasure out of this.
Your wife has made clear she wants to be with other men, and her dissatisfaction with you is toxic to the relationship and harmful to you. I think you would be better off with an open marriage. You don’t even need to call it that; just tell her “I know you want to bone other men, you go ahead and do that, I’m going to find someone I can satisfy. Let’s not discuss this again as it depresses me.” Then find you a smaller woman who isn’t so internally fixated and doesn’t make you compete with her toy collection.
Note that most would advise better and more open communication than I am suggesting, and all sex or relationship therapists probably would. I suggest the obfuscation specifically for this particular relationship, because I think you risk hurting each other very badly if both of you are 100% honest about the situation.
I want to do this to my wife, i dont this is wrong because i beleive this will give me a pleasure more than doing it myself , anyone with a big “….” he is welcome but i will invite him to my home then hcan do it while i watching them. my email is (editor has deleted this) email me if you are interested
to the person who commented. I am allowing the comment without your email, simply because some people really don’t understand the dynamics of sex and love very well. Obviously you are adding this comment into our website as a joke or to get offers of free sex, which disrespects Leather and Lace Advice and the spirit of our website, which is to provide high quality, serious advice to people who have asked for it, or you are someone who thinks you can get away with disrespecting the woman you married. Either way, we are calling you out as an example of what NOT to post here. We love comments and we wish we had more of them, but this is not a site to solicit sex partners. And our new site, Leather and Lace SPICE, while for more mature audiences is also not a place to solicit sex partners. If you want that kind of activity, go somewhere else. In the future, comments like yours will be swiftly eliminated. We work hard on this site and we’re not going to let a few pigs like you destroy it for the majority of people who really appreciate it. –Alison & Tony _
Aandt, aren’t “solicitations” revealing something aout this man’s relationships with his wife and past and current lovers? If so, why would you take the time to chastize someone who is obviously engaged in the concept, in the “passion”.
People often seek help, information, advice, and counsel when making solicitations disguised as overt requests for sexual gratification. That is definitely happening here. This man is crying out for guidance, and in the process, he is obviously interested in improving his life, hoping to find someone who has had similar experiences and who can empathize with him.
Your reaction to his disguised request is bizarre; do you really believe that discussions in this context will never include requests for sex, even though in this case the solicitation is really an “undercover request” for information and help? Do you think it is fair to blog a titelating subject yet somehow guide the responses away from the titelation?
Absurd.
Alessio, one of the things you learn as a qualified advisor is never to “guess” what is behind someone’s request for “help, information, advice and counsel.” We are not here to judge and you are making a dangerous assumption to do the same. you have no idea of this person’s true issues or motivations, although, we suspect, the passion with which you responded to our Q&A indicate that you might have these feelings, personally and are free to express them here. We do not feel that his request was disguised — many people seek threesomes. You are certainly free to say what you think about our reactions, but again, that’s just your opinion, not fact. As to whether or not the title is satisfying to you, we feel it was completely accurate. No details were given as to the actual sexual acts performed and even if they were, we would not include them here in leather and lace Advice. Please read our privacy policy.
Me and my lovey looking wife have been married 20 years, we roll play and that’s good, anyway (deleted by editor)../she hates liars and people who lie, go on I know you wont lie then under her breath unfaithful, what unfaithful but only the once, was it that guy from your work yes, now he is a really nice guy and if anyone was to —- my wife then I was glad it was him, anyway she was I’m sorry no Hun its great I am ok with it, by the way this happened over 8 years ago, it has certainly put a spark back into our sex life
from “Lace” well “Phil,” thank you for sharing. I guess your comments show that sometimes, a threesome can work within a marriage. It is nice that you think your wife is good looking and that your marriage has lasted for two decades. You seem to be very open minded, especially since you complimented the man your wife had an affair with as a “really nice guy.” And you recognized that it was only once and now this is ancient history. It also appears that the affair opened up a dialogue between you and your wife, and now you have a stronger relationship for it. So GODO FOR YOU!
Just stumbled upon this Q&A. I have to agree with Tony who says that there are two forms of this fantasy. Just to put some light on the other side, my wife and I have done this many times (and continue to do so to this day) and it has been wonderful. It’s not the act itself that’s the problem, it’s the intent behind it when it’s of the more malicious variety. I admit that this started out as more of a fantasy of mine, but as my wife and I did role play, etc, it became a big fantasy for her, too. We talked A LOT about it before we even began to put anything into action. Communication is key!
In any case… we chose one of my/our best male friends as her/our first “playmate” so to speak. The first time anything happened it was just oral. I performed oral on her while she went down on him until he came. It was a little awkward at first, but it didn’t take long for it to feel “natural” if that makes sense. And my wife and I were both very surprised that nothing felt “weird” afterwards. I’m sure a lot of that had to do with the fact that we talked openly about it so much before it happened and laid out some “ground rules,” and also that our friend was (and is) a true gentleman.
After a positive first experience, the next time we had him over my wife was ready to take the next step. Our friend is quite a bit larger than me, and the look on her face when he entered her for the first time will be forever emblazoned in my mind. It was so sexy, and so incredible! Unlike the husband in the original poster’s story, I wasn’t mad at all. No jealousy, no nothing. I can truthfully say that I was happy that our friend made her feel so good. After all, that’s what it’s all about to me. Sure, I get pleasure out of watching her (and participating), but my mission is to give her the most pleasure I possibly can… and sometimes that includes letting her have sex with other men. There have only been a select few (obviously, it’s not about notches on the bedpost, as they say) but we’ve been lucky in choosing the right ones. We’ve really only had positive experiences.
Last, I’d just like to say that involving others in our sex life has actually brought the two of us much closer. We’re just completely open about everything, sexual and otherwise. And the trust factor just continues to build. And we continue to enjoy “the lifestyle.” So, it certainly can be a positive… but it doesn’t sound like this husband is on the level in any way. He sounds selfish, immature, and totally incapable of meeting a woman’s needs, sexual or otherwise. It’s a shame.
I just came across this thread and wanted to share some thoughts if I may. First of all I agree and appreciate the responses from Leather and Lace. I think it’s a shame that the original posters Husband is obviously not interested in his own wife’s pleasure. He definitely gives a bad rap to guys like myself and Bobby who enjoy seeing their wives being pleasured, with or without another present in the marital bed.
Like Bobby, my wife and I have been in this “Lifestyle” for several years and while we don’t play as often as I would like (Life gets in the way sometimes) when we do or she does as she is allowed to play alone, it is fantastic. That being said, this lifestyle is not for everyone. I have met folks who are simply too jealous to participate in it and have read of husbands doing it possibly to get the green light to play with other women. The “Hotwife” Lifestyle in my opinion is all about the woman’s pleasure. If the Hubby wants to also play then he should game more for the swing lifestyle which allows for both partners to play with the other sex.
For me, there is nothing better that knowing that my wife has had satisfying sex with me other than seeing her getting that pleasure from someone else. By watching or joining in on pleasuring her I have actually been able to learn new techniques to better please her alone.
Hubby’s should take note and be warned however, if you don’t think you can handle it that your wife may do things or act differently with the other man than she does with you then the lifestyle of sharing her may not be for you. Sometimes women can be completely uninhibited with a lover when she can’t with her hubby because she may be afraid of what her hubby would think of her. With the other man, who is just there as a play toy it can be completely different. So, as I said, I have learned a lot about my wife and what she really likes through sharing her and have brought those things to our alone time. This has increased my love making skills and enhanced our alone time exponentially.
I am fortunate however that my wife is as anxious to learn new ways to please me as I am to please her. Because I don’t know the original poster other than what she wrote and because I am by no means a professional on giving advice, really the only advice I could give would be to communicate with her spouse to try to determine what he actually expected to see when he shared her and why he is now upset for her having a good time, after all, it was his idea. Also, if I were her, if she wants to stay in this marriage, I would figure out a way to break it to him that as a Lover, he is very inferior to his friend.
My husband won’t tell me this is his fantasy, but I saw 30 pages like this that he looked up, I personally think that if a man wants to watch his wife with another man then he has perversions and is most likely- gay, bisexual to me is a cop out, people know inside which they are more attracted too…and my husband looking at this and a catching him a million times talking to men, I am disgusted! Don’t do it women! If your man asks, kick him to the curb and get someone who truly loves and values you and as one of these ppl said has a brain that is imaginative enough to be satisfied with one person!
Patti, I am approving your comment because I believe that leather and lace should be a safe place for people to voice their opinions. You are entitled to yours. But there is no evidence at all that a man who looks at men or enjoys talking to men, is gay or bi. You are uninformed. That is one of the reasons we started this web site, to give accurate information about issues that worry adults, to those who need and want it.
As to suggesting that women “kick their man to the curb” if he suggests a threesome or other type of sexual activity that is not pleasurable or acceptable, the right way to handle that is communication. Lots of couples value and respect one another and engage in sexual activity that you, apparently, would find loathesome and disrespectful. That is their right. What people do behind closed doors that pleases them and harms no one else, is THEIR business. In the situation our reader faced, her husband was the one who had the fantasy and he pushed her into it, even though she was very reluctant. Coercion in sex is never a good thing — that is disrespectful and uncaring. But once she agreed to do it and liked it, he was upset with her. If you do something as an adult, you are responsible for the end result. That’s something to always keep in mind,
As to the “advice” you are offering female readers of this web site, neither Tony nor I would agree with anything you have said. We are leaving it up only as your opnion as we feel you are free to state it. One of the things that makes advice experts, tops in their field, is the ability to look at others and their issues, and not judge or moralize and take yourself and your personal feelings out of the situation. You don’t have that skill! But I do have some advice for you — since you are obviously very impassioned about this, please do sit down and talk with your husband and talk to him about your feelings. He may have fantasies and needs you don’t want to meet, but you should know what they are.
You DESERVE great sex. How dare your husband not take care of you. I truly believe you need to TELL your husband he will get that man to have sex with you on a regular basis or you will go behind his back. Because you deserve the attention, orgasm, and good sex. He will do it if you stand your ground and you will have a Cuck that will learn to enjoy claiming you back. This is your chance to take control of your sexual life and bring happiness and fulfillment to you.
My wife and I like to try everything once, nude beaches, sex on the beach, sex in public places, dressing like a slut and flirting with guys and then I show up and chase them away. We went through all the fetishes most people are familiar with. My wife was a virgin when we married and I had a lot of experience. I wanted her to experience another man so we picked her Pinochle part for the last year. They got a long well, she laughed at all his jokes and made a lot of sexual suggestions and she liked him. So I asked and he was fine with it. I sat down with a glass of Scotch in my hand to watch the show. I was not sexually excited by it but found it interesting to see my wife from afar. She did not seem to be enjoying it as I could tell when she does. Most guys have a mental image of how it will go down from watching porn, reading posts and stories on the internet. Real life is not scripted and you cannot control the actions of others to the detail level you want.
The guy finally came inside my wife bareback since it was pre AIDS days and he was a long time friend. On the drive home she said he was too rough and she never wanted to have ex with another man but me again. When we got home the sex was great as I gave my wife the kind of sex she likes…… (edited to comply with our privacy policy)….Two years later she finally admitted she was bisexual and had fantasies of sex with women for a few years but was embarrassed to say so . When she came out of the closet so many cuckolds are in, (..edited to comply with our privacy policy…) she got her best friend to move in with us and we lived in a Triad, all loving one another for 38 years with not a single problem. We hid it from friends and family which is not hard to do when you move 13 times far away from everyone you know.
Although it worked for us, it did not work for most of the other couples we knew into this kid of sexual activity. They all got divorced when one or the other fell in love with one of their outside partners. Rules and promises do not prevent the powerful hormones that are released after sex and designed to bond you to the person you just had sex with. That is the reason F Buddies often want to become more.
My wife is smart. She recognized that if i encouraged her to have sex with other men often enough, she would eventually fall in love with one. There are always better men and not just in sexual ability but also all other areas. Keep in mind that you sex buddies are only with you for the fun and game times. They are not nagging you to do work around the house, raise the kids or not spend money. It makes outside lovers more attractive in your eyes. In other words, the more the look the better your odds of finding someone you fall in love with and like better than the man who does not love or respect you enough to want him all to himself. I
Me and my wife have a great sex life and I make sure she is always satisfied. We also include others in or sex and I must say I love watchingher fuck other men. Shes not pushed to do it. She enjoys it as much as I do. Its either your thing or its not
Wow! Aandt, you are really good. i do NOT care that you are a professional at this. That’s because there ARE SO MANY “professionals” giving advise who are idiot morons. but you are different. You actually know what you’re talking about. Wow.
WE ARE NOT DOCTORS, BUT HOWARD, WE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS A LONG TIME. SO THANK YOU
You need to understand men’s psychology. In general after doing sex repeatedly with one woman, they do not get attracted with the same woman. For another man you are a different woman. So he may enjoy more with you than your husband. But when another man sleeps with you many time you will be back to square. Better be a good friend of your husband. Do not do regular sex with another man frequently. Enjoy few days with your husband. And then talk to him about your desires. I am sure you will succeed fulfilling your desires better after taking your husband in confidence. You don’t need to leave your husband for sex. Enjoying sex should not affect your marriage
I think you should live happily with your husband. Avoid doing sex with other man frequently. Because it is men’s sexual tendency that they get bored of doing sex with one woman frequently. So enjoy few days with your husband. Talk to your husband about your desires. If you take your husband in confidence and then you will fulfill your desires you will enjoy not only your sexlife but your couple life too. In most of the cases or perhaps in every case another man definitely can give much pleasure to women. Because husbands do sex with wives regularly and for another man somebody else’s wife is a different woman. So I strongly suggest that women should not leave their husbands just for sex
OP ~ Originally stated that her primary is not only quick “5 minutes” but also small ~ friend was “large” (which I really liked).
You may hear women say that size doesn’t matter but most authentic sex research will tell you that while the vagina can stretch to fit a baby… women, just like men come in different sizes and therefore have size preferences. My wife is small and I am medium… there are positions we can’t achieve my full penetration without her experiencing a little pain but for the most part the fit as big as possible while being fully pleasurable. We’ve tried larger and they hurt her, plus it isn’t pleasurable for the male to not achieve full penetration.
Ok, so in this situation we have an unfulfilled woman whose husband encouraged her to have sex with another guy who he had to know was way bigger than he was ~ his “our friend” right? He wanted a hotwife experience. He had to know that the other guys was going to provide his wife with more pleasure than he did.
This is “pure cuckold” and husband is now experiencing cuckold angst. He hates the fact that now he “knows” another guy can do his wife better than he can… but at the same time is so turned on by the fact that his wife was fulfilled and achieved orgasm that he can’t stand it. He’s “MAD” at his wife because his emotions are so torn and even though he’s turned on more than he’s ever been (because he probably really does love her and wants her to be happy)… he’s now afraid that because she “knows” there are guys better in bed than he is that she will leave him, so he calls her things like slut in an attempt to control her. He’s experiencing fear that she will leave… not anything else.
So now he will try to bring her under control… at least for a while. If she submits… when his fear dies down he will once again encourage her to do this again. This will happen until she just doesn’t listen to him when he whines and calls her a slut and just goes out and has sex with who she wants.
Then he will be really torn emotionally but as sexually excited as he can possibly get… That’s just what I get from this OP’s original post even if there isn’t a lot of information. Others might have gotten a different message.
Since this OP was 2 years ago it would be interesting to hear what happened to this couple.
My wife has wanted to be with two men for a long time. She told me her fantasy when we were still dating. She wants to be taken by the men any way they want her. Rape fantasy? (deleted by editor) Bigger than mine. We finally did it. (the rest deleted by editor)
Jimmy: We like hearing from our readers and getting their feedback. However, we had to delete most of what you wrote as it was very graphic and not suitable for general viewing on our website. The comments weren’t really about the post. We are happy that the experience with your wife and another man was a positive for all of you, and continues to be a source of pleasure. *note to our readers: this comment was published automatically while I was away from my desk. I removed the contents immediately upon my return. My apologies to anyone who was subjected to it.
Jimmy: thank you for your comments, but we have remove your homophobic rant as our policy is to allow productive feedback but not allow harassment of others.
Your husband should be happy. I wish more of my GFS did this.
Your husband’s I’m the wrong. I let my current girlfriend and she loves it, and I love it.
Anything to make her happy.
As long as you are both happy with this, enjoy
(“C”): we have removed your comment, as it really is a question and very personal and entirely inappropriate for us to post in a public manner.
To protect your safety, privacy and the privacy of the people you mention in your letter, we can’t include it. I’m sorry.
However, we also feel that your issue is a serious one that requires more than we could possibly offer you in a public post, no matter how carefully we consider it.
We want you to know that we talked about how to handle your issue at great length.
Since you provided us with an email address, are also going to send this to you privately, but we’re posting this note so others understand what it appropriate and what isn’t on a public forum.
Keep in mind that anything said in public stays there forever, and anyone can see it.
Although Tony and I are experts at removing all but the core of an issue, we can’t answer questions on our website that are specific to only one person’s issues or that could identify them or the people they are referencing.
We can help with these kind of questions with private and personal advice for a fee. However, there are allegations of mental issues and violence in your note that cannot be taken lightly.
We are relationship advisros, but we feel that your situation required in-person professional help from someone who will focus on your situation with the utmost delicacy and confidentiality.
Although we have our own thoughts on how to handle your situation, we don’t feel we’d be responsible in handling this over the internet.
Please do find someone quickly. This situation sounds like one that could escalate into real harm.
We wish you the very best, and the very best for those you care about.
Do it now. Do it for yourself and your family.
We wish you all the best,
Alison and/for Tony aka. Leather and Lace
My husband and I are bi-sexual, we have sex with each other, different people, same sex people all the time. I’m pregnant right now by one of our guy friends, it makes no difference who as long as its healthy baby. I’m at a point where sex is uncomfortable and my husband is sleeping with a guy now. Husband still loves me and does everything he can to make me comfortable, his boy friend is his sex out let. They have sex together all the time, and sometimes I like to watch them. Our marriage is wonderful and I’m excited to have my baby so then I can get back to having fun with all our guys and gals.
*editor’s note: Normally I would say: who am I to judge?… EXCEPT Anne-Marie, you are bringing a child into this relationship which isn’t at all traditional. How you choose to raise this baby raises a lot of questions for us. I am worred about that.
We were asked to wife swap with our best friends. My wife was a virgin in all possible ways when we married and never got to experience another man or know if there was more to what she felt than she got with me. We did have a great sex life as my wife reaches orgasms easily and has multiple ones until she physically is exhausted. Yet she was always curious about how it would feel with someone else.
I left the decision with her. She said yes. I was unable to orgasm with my friend’s wife. She was into very rough sex beyond the point I was comfortable with on a first date so to speak. I was OK with my wife having sex with another man because I am very secure in who I am and what I can offer. My ex fiancée was a virgin too and ended up cheating just to experience sex with someone else. Turns out that I was not the problem, she is now married to a woman. So I wanted me wife to satisfy her curiosity in a safe environment with me watching.
My wife hated it. On the drive home she told me that I was much better and more than enough for her. She did not come close to an orgasm and had bruises because the guy was used to rough sex with is wife. Basically my wife’s problem was that she only experienced making love and not raw sex with each person driving towards the orgasm without any passion or feeling between them. My wife declared she would never have sex with another man again and she was true to her word. Even when opportunities came up, as we were a good looking couple, she refused. So it turned out that having sex with another guy worked to my benefit and satisfied my wife’s curiosity.
As I watched my wife with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of Whisky in the other, I was neither aroused or jealous. It was just interesting to see my wife have sex from a distance. I will admit that the sex between us when we got home was intense and lasted for weeks with the mental images we had of each other. However, not worth doing again. Just another sexual experience to add to our collection.
swapping and swinging work for some couples, but not for others. As you discovered, it seems more glamorous from the outside looking in. I’m glad it worked out well for you.
Hi I’m a 44 yr old married man who’s been with my wife for 15 yrs my wife and i also balked about her being with another man i said sure its ok so the day came when i watched my wife have sex with another man just to hear the sounds she made were priceless im so glad she had a great time (rest edited for the sake of our audience)